We've got some major problems in this country. One problem that isn't getting nearly enough attention is the need for standarization of spicyness scales between different restaurants. See, I like spicy food, and when you go to a Chinese, Thai, or Indian restaurant, they have spicyness in terms of stars (but as we'll see, they're not the same stars). Mexican restaurants have little peppers by the food, and some wing places have "alarms" from 1-7, and regular old places have mild/medium/hot.
But that's just the beginning of the trouble. The real problem is that for a given restaurant, you never know what you're getting. Most of the Tex-Mex places around here won't even do hot food. If you ask them to spicy something up, they act like you are crazy or a liablity risk of some sort. "Um, no, would you like some chipotle sauce?" Some places want you to sign a waver for anything above "mild", then call the manager in to make sure you "really" want it hot. What's worse is that they'll stand there anxiously as you take the first bite and are suprised when you turn and say "well, it's kind of hot..." Then again, you get 3-stars at some other places and it nearly melts your face off, gives you an ulcer, and the dreaded ring of fire. I was at an Indian place earlier this week and we ordered 4-stars (see how you have no idea what that means now, do you?!?! See! See!) and they weren't kidding around. My friend actually had tears going beyond the point of welling. We both loved the food but it certainly qualified as hot.
Someday, somebody is going to get hurt. We can't live like this. We must band together and demand a standard system of hotness!